Since we are currently somewhere between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, I thought this would be a good time for this. It made me laugh. Out loud. Sitting in my kitchen. All by myself. I hope it does the same for you! A good laugh right now, is a very necessary thing!As always, I am grateful that you read my blog…You all are a very big deal!
This was written by Dave Barry on the difference between men and women:
This Sunday is Mother’s Day, a holiday honoring motherhood that is observed all over the world in one form or another. In the United States, it was created by a woman named Anna Jarvis in 1908. In 1914, President Woodrow Wilson made it an official holiday.
Last week I talked about the days that try women’s souls. This week, as you already know, those days are still here and it’s puzzling in more ways than one. These are the things I’ve found puzzling this week. They are completely unrelated except for the puzzling to me part. Being of the “high risk” variety, I’ve been in the house for a very long time, I feel no further explanation is necessary. Please consider yourselves warned.
Easter was different this year. Our normal family gathering of 25, not including invited friends, was down to 3. It was quiet. It was peaceful. And, though I missed the rest of my people, it was nice. I even dressed up a little, meaning I got out of my usual loose fitting capri yoga pants and tee shirt and put on capri leggings (i.e. fitted yoga pants) and a flowery top. I even did my hair and put on my face. I was less comfortable, but I looked better.
Well, I know “some” things. I know things about chia seeds and, because I love it so much, I know things about my family. But first, chia seeds…
I confess, it took me a very long time to eat chia seeds. Have you ever really looked at them? They don’t look like much, but evidently they are good for you. They’re packed with all kinds of good stuff like protein, calcium, iron, and magnesium. They lower your bad cholesterol and keep your brain healthy. They even help prevent osteoporosis. Of course, if you get them wet they turn into something that looks a lot like frog’s eggs. But people call it “chia pudding” and eat it anyway, so how bad can it be? Knowing all of the benefits, I was still hesitant to eat them and there was a very good reason. Chia Pets.
I’m sure you’ve been doing the same; because, honestly, there’s not much else to do. So here are a few things I’ve noticed…
To begin with, I’m kind of enjoying being at home! This surprises me because I consider myself an extrovert with a laid back alter ego. But, I am really enjoying my current introverted life. It brings introspection. It also brings “outerspection”. “Outerspection” can be a little scary. Erma Bombeck, one of my all time favorites, once said, “If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.” So, here goes…
It’s rare that I put on makeup very much these days. I wash and go and I’m enjoying life in my natural, if somewhat less attractive state. Cliff doesn’t seem to mind. That being said, I’ve been noticing things, like eyebrows. Have you ever really looked at your eyebrows? They’re kind of weird. I know they’re supposed to be there for protection, but protection from what? I’ve poked myself in the eye, I’ve banged my eye on the corner of a door, I’ve even been hit in the eye with a dead lime popping up out of my garbage disposal, that was pretty funny! Through all of that what did my eyebrows do to protect me? Nothing.
Like most Italians, even partial ones like me, I have only one eyebrow. This makes me very grateful to whoever it was that invented tweezers. However, I have recently discovered that one of my eyebrow hairs has broken rank, made its way about an inch south, and has decided to grow right between my eyes. Unfortunately, it’s one of the few remaining really dark ones and, at first glance, it makes me look like a rhinoceros. It’s gone…for now, but I have a feeling it will be back.
On a more positive note, I am enjoying the fact that as I get older my eyebrows are ‘fading’. I’ve thought about filling them in, but an awful lot of women are looking like Groucho Marx these days and I doubt that this would be a good look for me. I’ve decided to let them fade. They’re still plucked, because no woman should look like a rhino, but not quite what they once were. Of course, at 60 nothing is what it once was, if you know what I mean.
I’ve been making videos for my classes! That’s been interesting. This is the one day I put some makeup on and do my hair. I don’t want to scare anyone. You never really know what you look like until you see yourself talking on video. I’m convinced that even a mirror doesn’t really show you your true self. It’s like we see what we want to see in the mirror, but on video…oy vey! I have at least two chins, not including the one I married. I have what appears to be two deflated shopping bags under my eyes, I look like I only have four bottom teeth when I’m speaking, and the skin on my neck is a little wiggly. Yup…other than that, I’m fine.
I recently made the mistake of baking in this time of extended rest and relaxation. More specifically, I made the mistake of baking cookies. If I was in the new Jumanji movie, cookies would be my weakness. Like the character Fridge with cake, they make me explode, not physically, well maybe-kind-of-physically. They make me explode out of my clothes, mostly my pants. I told myself it was okay to eat them because I made them with honey instead of sugar. I told myself that I made them for Cliff. That’s what I told myself, but I lied. I ate them. Almost all of them, Cliff had three. However, I did NOT eat them all in one day. I paced myself. It took two and a half days. I’m getting better, I’m wearing stretchy pants everyday, but I’m getting better. It’s the little things. Right?
On a more serious note, Cliff and I have been watching some documentaries. Documentaries always make me notice to the point of thinking. And so, being where we are and adjusting to what’s happening right now; I started thinking about history. Since we’ve been watching Britain in Color, or Colour for my British friends, and since I taught British history this year, I’ve been thinking about the Blitz. The Blitz was probably one of the most difficult times in history for the British people. During the Blitz of WWII, Germany bombed London and other cities in England from September 1940 until May 1941…9 months…36 weeks…252 days…day and night. They slept in the Underground (our subway), and in Anderson Shelters that they built in their backyards. And yet, when Churchill went out among the British people and asked them if they wanted to give up they said, “No.” They wanted to continue the fight. They were willing to do what needed to be done and, if you think about it, where would we be if they hadn’t.
We are now being called to do what needs to be done. All of us. And we can do it. We can do it for ourselves. We can do it for others. Because throughout history that’s what people have done. We are safe in our homes, we have air conditioning, we have television, we have technology and we have phones. What we have to do is really not that big a deal!
~ “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” ~Romans 12:12
Every now and then, I come across something that I know I want to share. This post, from a dear lady in our church, is one of those. She has a perspective that we all need, one of faith, hope, and trust! I pray it will encourage you through this interesting time. Thank you, Shirley Corbett, you are truly a gem!
“Well, there is one good thing about a national crisis (whether it be a blizzard, a hurricane, or a pandemic) it levels the playing field for everyone. We’re all in the same boat.”
These wise words were spoken by my even wiser husband. A man who during this time of extended “relaxation” has lost much that is dear to him, namely sports. He turned on ESPN recently just to make sure this isn’t all just a bad dream and told me the only thing on is Curling Night in America. I got a little excited when he mentioned this one until I realized it was on a sports channel and was not a self-help video for curly hair.
When H1N1 was a thing about 10 years ago, I had barely heard of it until I went to the doctor for bronchitis. The nurse told me they’d have to test me for H1N1. I agreed and she stuck a two-foot long Q-tip up my nose. I could only assume she was trying to get a brain sample. That, too, was a cautious time; a painful but cautious time; still, it was not like this cautious time. During H1N1 we didn’t have to work from home.
My current work-from-home status has given me some new and peculiar “co-workers.” We’ve been somewhat sequestered for over a week now and though they are mostly laid back, I would have to say, some of their daily habits are more than a little disconcerting. The older one sleeps all day and snores relentlessly. She occasionally passes gas and she doesn’t seem to care who hears her. Of course she is about 107 years old, so there is that. My other, much younger co-worker is always barking orders and consistently tries to bury her food. I’ve decided she’s a hoarder. She also eats lizards. She’s very attractive and thinks she can get away with things by looking innocent and adorable. Unfortunately, she’s right.
“Co-workers” aside, I have learned some exciting new things through all of this! Can I tell you I am grateful for technology? I can still teach my classes by making YouTube videos! How about THAT! Of course, I had to call my oldest grandson to figure out how, but I think I’ve got it! Production, hopefully, starts tomorrow.
There’s something else I’ve learned, something that, when I think about it, has been a consistency throughout history. Back in WWII, men were called to war, women were called to work, and people everywhere were called to ration for the war effort. There were rations for coffee, sugar, butter, and gas. Pretty much everything except fruits and vegetables was rationed. When more rubber was needed people turned in old tires and women, believe it or not, gave up their corsets and girdles which had a high rubber content. Their lives completely changed almost overnight. They had no idea what the future held for them, but they did what had to be done. Together. They were called the Greatest Generation. They were our parents, grandparents, and great grandparents and they taught us well. They taught us by example. We can do the same. We have not been called to war. We have been called to slow down. To relax. Isn’t that what we always say we want to do?
I began this post with a quote from a very wise man, I’d like to end it the same way. I give you a public service announcement from my favorite, Mr. Fred Rogers…
“…so many caring people in this world.” In the light of all eternity, that’s what really matters. Stay safe, stay healthy, stay home. It’s really not that big a deal!
Last week while reading the post of one of my two fairy blog mothers to my husband, I noticed that she mentioned that she and her husband play games. Specifically, they were playing Pinochle. I know how to spell pinochle but, I have no idea how to play. The following conversation ensued…
Me: Hey, we should play games!
Cliff: What, like hide and seek?
He thinks he’s funny and, most of the time, he is! Remember Hide and Seek? I always liked most of Hide and Seek. We played all the time as kids. I was good at hiding because I was small enough to fit in weird places that nobody would think to look. Unfortunately, I usually gave myself away because I got scared they would find me. Yup, I was that kid, the one that would get so scared I would either start to giggle out of sheer terror or tell them where I was. And let’s not forget Hide and Seek’s evil, dark brother…Manhunt. What could be more frightening than playing Hide and Seek outside in the dark where there are only so many bushes and trees to hide behind? In this game I was always found and when found the finder would always scare me half to death. I learned pretty quickly that the reason I was easily found in Manhunt and hardly found, unless I gave myself away, in Hide and Seek was because of my skin. This reason has been confirmed, many times throughout my life. I glow in the dark. So, when during Manhunt everyone would run and hide, I would run, too…inside my house. Nobody ever found me after that.
I’m not overly fond of card games, at least not the serious ones. Cliff knows not to suggest card games because, aside from solitaire, I’m really frustrating to play card games with. I’m not very good because I talk a lot, and I don’t pay attention enough to remember which cards have been played. Evidently, strategy is important in most card games and, as with most things in life, I have none. I’m also not very competitive…at ALL. This seems to annoy those I’ve played with, so to preserve their sanity, well, it goes like this…
There was a time, many moons ago, when our church would get together for something called, “Big Boss Tournaments”. The “Tournament” was a good percentage of the church adults getting together either at the church itself or someone’s house. Card tables would be set up, and in groups of four people would sit and play to see who would be the “Big Boss Champion”. We had never heard of this game before, but being new to the church and wanting to be a part, when we were invited we accepted. Quite by accident, or as a source of sanctification to those who ended up having to play against me, I made it to the finals! One of the poor much younger guys I was playing with who had been playing almost since birth and was himself a former Big Boss Champion, was having a very difficult time. He did his best to be kind, but finally confronted me with a forced smile and somewhat gritted teeth, he rubbed his forehead completely exasperated and said,
“I’m having a very difficult time trying to figure out your strategy, Roxanne”.
“That’s because I don’t have one, Jesse.”
‘I’ thought it was funny.
I decided at that point that it was my duty as a Christian woman not to cause my fellow church members to sin and so, I abstain. I feel it’s only right.
As for board games, Scrabble is my favorite but nobody will play with me. I’ve been reading since I was 3, so I know lots of words and I can spell almost anything. I’m not bragging, it’s just a fact. In a pathetic move to get others to play with me, I’ve even offered to spell words for them. Pathetic, am I right? I do have a few friends that will play with me, but they live far away and it’s not like you can play over the phone. Wait! Yes, you can! You can play over the phone! And I do! Words With Friends is exactly that words, with friends!!! Not really a competitive game, at least not for me, because I don’t care if I win. I just love finding and playing the words! I play almost everyday, just because I can. It’s wonderful! No fear of someone finding me, no competition or strategy on my part; nor am I, as far as I know, a source of someone’s frustration! It’s a win, win! And if I don’t win, it’s really not that big a deal!
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A project to seek out womanhood and femininity, truth and vulnerability, and to be a vehicle of encouragement to other young women along the way.
A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything. ~ Irish Proverb
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