Not That Big A Deal

I’ve heard of many fictional kings in my life, but never this one.  My first job was with Burger King and, as a kid, King Kong was always kind of scary. King Arthur and his Roundtable has always been intriguing since nobody seems to be certain if he actually lived or not. And then there are the animated versions of Kings. King Julien, from the Madagascar movies comes to mind, the little hyperactive lemur king. The Lion King gave us Mufasa and Simba. The Little Mermaid had King Triton, and the funny and lovable Minions have King Bob. These I have heard of. But never have I ever heard of King Bob-Omb.

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Roxanne Teresa Sicurello. That’s the name I was given at birth. My mother, knowing that Italians have a habit of naming their children after themselves and fairly certain that she could never look into a cradle at her infant son, if ever she had one, and call him “Rocco,” told my father that I was named for him. Thus, she satisfied both  Dad’s need for a child named after him and her need to not have a son named Rocco.  Just to sweeten the deal, I was given the middle name Teresa for my paternal grandmother, Teresa Massessi, lovingly referred to as Tessie Massessi, and yes, it rhymes with messy and yes, it suits me well.

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41 is an important number. A significant number in many ways. It is the number that follows 40 and precedes 42. It’s a prime number, which means almost nothing to those of us with a “no math mind.” There is a US Highway 41 that goes from the very southern peninsula of Miami, to the very northern U.S. peninsula, the upper peninsula of Michigan. Amazing!

For those of us old enough to remember the tear-jerking, full box of tissues movie, “Brian’s Song,” Brian Piccolo’s retired jersey is number 41. Side note ~ I actually remember where I was sitting in my living room and holding and using an entire big box of tissues. I also cried for about an hour after it was over. It was that bad.  Moving on, in 1941 three very significant things happened, the Japanese bombed Pear Harbor, we officially entered WWII, and my mother was born, thus securing my place in the world…kind of.

This past Tuesday, my husband and I celebrated our own 41.  We have been married for 41 years. I was 19 when we married, one month before my 20th birthday, and I am 60 now, I have been married for fully two-thirds of my life. That’s a long time, like  an “I really am an old lady” long time, which is even harder to comprehend when I feel like I’m still about 41 years old. Of course, the mirror says otherwise, but still the feeling is there. It’s not true, but it’s there.

You’ve heard the age old saying opposites attract. Can I tell you it could not be more true? In fact, when I think about it, there’s not much that Cliff and I have in common. For example, Cliff likes sports, he likes playing them and watching them. When we lived in NJ, Cliff was the pitcher in our church’s softball league. They played on Monday nights. For the guys, it was a competition, a time of camaraderie, an athletic event. For me, it was a wonderful social outing! A time to visit with the wives, chat, and slather ourselves and our children in what we felt was a “natural” mosquito repellent, otherwise known as Skin So Soft by Avon. I have no idea why or how, but it worked and though I wasn’t overly fond of the smell, we definitely smelled better than the men.

Cliff enjoys old movies, I do not. But, I do like to crochet and will sit beside him with my hook and yarn while he gives me a rundown on different actors and the trivia he knows about them. It’s interesting…sometimes. Lately, we have found a common interest in British television programs. I don’t know why. We have to have the subtitles on to understand what they’re saying since we are “separated by a common language,” but the series’ that we’ve watched so far have piqued both of our interests and we’ve really enjoyed them!

Cliff enjoys things to be “orderly,” his drawers, his closet, his shoes…a place for all things and all things in their place. I tend towards “creative chaos.” My drawers are separated into shirts, pants, shorts and underthings, but they are not even close to orderly. They are shut most of the time, so that’s good! I tried to organize my closet once. That lasted a day. I realized I missed my closet disarray because sometimes I find something I forgot I had and it’s like getting a new and unexpected gift! Who wouldn’t love that?

My husband is a food camel. He can go for long periods of time without eating and think nothing of it. I am a foodie. I eat every few hours and think I will meet some horrible end if I don’t. If we plan a trip to Disney, something we both enjoy, it is inevitable that I will ask him where and when we will eat and whether or not we’ll get a Starbucks Refresher. If plans change as far as where we will eat, I can deal with that. I can even be mature about it, as long as I know we will be eating. Besides, I usually have my pockets stuffed with snacks like a chipmunk, so I can make it through until our meal. However, if he tells me we will be getting a Starbucks Refresher when we get into the park and then realizes that a very popular ride has almost no line and decides that we should get in line instead of getting our Refresher. Well, let’s just say that can and did, yesterday, push me to a mild meltdown. I did enjoy the ride and saw the wisdom of his decision when we came off the ride and saw a 105 minute wait. We only waited for 20 minutes and we did get a Refresher immediately afterwards.

For all of our differences, and  obviously they are many; there is one thing Cliff and I have in common, our faith. Our common love for Jesus has held us together through some of the toughest moments of our lives. He is our third cord, that causes us to not be easily broken. Who loves us unconditionally and teaches us to do the same. It’s not always easy, but it is always worth it.

41 years…It’s a pretty big deal!

“…a threefold cord is not easily broken.” ~ Ecclesiastes 4:12

In 1930, the United States experienced the worst drought it had ever seen in the Midwest and named the area hit, the Dust Bowl. The Great Depression had begun at the end of the previous year and Herbert Hoover was our President. 

In 1930, Pluto was discovered. The Chrysler Building was completed and stood as the tallest building in the world until the Empire State Building was completed the following year. The average yearly salary was $1,970.00. You could rent a house for $15 per month. A brand new Pontiac Big Six car cost $745.00 and a gallon of gas was 10 cents. 

In 1930, my father-in-law was born and so was Calvin Graham. 

On April 3, 1930, Calvin Graham was born in Canton, Texas. He grew up in Crockett, Texas and was one of seven children living at home when he and his older brother decided to find a place of their own. Calvin sold newspapers and delivered telegrams after school to support himself. Until one day, when he came up with a plan for his life. He decided to join the Navy and fight in the war. It was 1942. Calvin was 12.

He had begun shaving when he was 11 in an effort to look older. He also practiced speaking in a deep voice. He told his mother he was going to visit relatives, forged his mother’s signature, stole a notary stamp from a hotel, and went down with his buddies to sign up. He wasn’t worried about the recruiting officer and his mother’s forged signature, he knew he could tell them he was 17 and bluff his way through that. After all, the Navy needed men. What worried him was the Dentist.

There was no way to hide the fact that he still had a few baby teeth. The Dentist said he was 12. Calvin insisted he was 17 and told the Dentist that he knew for a fact that the two guys ahead of him were 14 and 15 and he’d let them through. Finally, the Dentist told Calvin he didn’t have time to waste on him and let him in.  And that is how Calvin Graham became a Navy Seaman, all 5′ 2″ and 125 lbs. of him. 

Calvin was on board the USS South Dakota as a gunner when it was attacked in the Pacific at Guadalcanal. A 500-pound bomb struck the main gun turret. The explosion sent shrapnel through his mouth and jaw, knocked out his front teeth, and knocked him down three stories of the superstructure. At 13 years old, though injured himself, he helped pull fellow crew members to safety. He took belts off the dead and made tourniquets for injured men. He gave the injured crewmen cigarettes and stayed with them, encouraging them all night. He was awarded a Purple Heart and a Bronze Star.

Calvin’s mother, seeing her son in newsreel footage, contacted the Navy and revealed his secret. He was returned to Corpus Christi, Texas and thrown in the brig for almost three months. It took his sister’s complaint to the newspapers to get him out of the brig. The Navy stripped him of his medals, revoked his disability benefits, and ordered his release with a dishonorable discharge. He married at 14, was a father at 15, and divorced at 17. Knowing he was about to be drafted, he signed up for the Marine Corps. Soon after enlisting, he broke his back in a fall. After that he sold magazine subscriptions. In 1976, he began writing letters to then President Jimmy Carter, seeking honorable discharge status so he could get disability benefits for his medical and dental expenses. In 1978, with help from some Texas Senators, it was approved and his medals, except for the Purple Heart, were restored. He died of heart failure in 1992. He was 62 years old. In 1994, two years after he died, his Purple Heart was returned to his family.

Calvin’s was an incredible life. He was a very big deal.