A Vegan Apocalypse?

When I was a little girl, the dinosaurs had pretty much died out, but hippies began to roam the earth. They stayed around for awhile, but by the time I was 11, though they didn’t die out, they did hang up their “love beads” and  settled down. The hippie movement introduced Americans to all sorts of new ideas, Eastern philosophy, pot, bell bottom pants, pot, folk and rock music, pot, free love, pot…you get the idea. One of the healthiest things the hippie movement introduced us to was the idea of vegetarians. You know, the people that don’t eat anything with a face, or a mother, or pretty much anything that tastes really good, like hamburgers.


Vegetarians eat vegetables and fruits, avocado, tofu, and other natural-type stuff. They do not eat meat, poultry or fish, but they do eat eggs, cheese, and honey. I’ve never seen a pair of vegetarian shoes, which tells me that vegetarians have their limits. What do I mean?  Well, there is a new veggie-person in town. The vegetarians older, bolder, version of themselves, the vegan.

Vegans don’t eat any animal products at all. No eggs, no dairy, nothing that uses any part of any animal. But, they still have vegan “meat”. One product is advertised as “Beyond.” “Beyond Sausage,” “Beyond Meat,” and, quite honestly, beyond my understanding. How can something that has no meat be labeled as sausage or meat? More importantly, if not meat, what are they? I have always been a little proud of the fact that I’ve eaten a veggie-burger. My mother always told me I had to try something before I said I didn’t like it. So, I tried it. I didn’t like it, but at least I knew what it was, veggies in the form of a burger. “Beyond Meat” doesn’t even give you a clue. When I was a teenager I used to watch a show called, “One Step Beyond“.  It was scary.  Enough said.

I am not saying that vegan lives don’t matter. In fact, I own a pair of vegan shoes. Yup. They are made by Toms and though I was incredulous at first as to why vegans, or anyone else for that matter, would want vegan shoes; I get it. Leather comes from animals and, well, you know. But, I have to admit I don’t really understand why my shampoo and conditioner are both vegan and gluten-free, unless…

Could it be that vegans are smarter than the rest of us?  Could they be preparing for  the end of the world? Setting themselves up for survival? Think about it. If there really was a zombie apocalypse and the vegans survived, they could eat their shoes and drink shampoo. They would make it! Maybe it’s a conspiracy. Or, maybe it’s really just not that big a deal!  



About Not That Big a Deal

Roxanne has a gift for writing and making people laugh. She enjoys sharing both with as many as she can.
This entry was posted in 1960's, America, Americans, Animals, Attitude, Childhood, Conspiracies, Differences, diversity, Family, Food, Growing Up, Health, Hippies, Humor, Life, Moms, Shoes, Uncategorized, Vegans, Vegetarians, Zombie Apocalypse. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to A Vegan Apocalypse?

  1. Thanks for the smile.


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