Over the course of the last year or so, I made a very disturbing discovery. My gut can no longer tolerate one of my favorite and most pleasurable, to me, food groups…sugar. I don’t know why and, evidently, neither does anyone else. But, there it is. When I’m thinking like a mature, responsible adult, I know this is in my best interest. But, I don’t think like that very often, especially when it comes to food.

It was a bit of an ‘adventure’ to make this discovery. One that involved a few “cleanses”, an ultrasound and, I can barely stand to type the word, a “fast”.

See this picture? If you change the “P” and the last “S” to an “F” and a “T”, you will have what I have learned and have since told myself with just as much vehemence as Gandalf. YOU SHALL NOT FAST! Because if you do you will turn into the monstrous, fiery Balrog that Gandalf fought in The Lord of the Rings.

About a year ago, I did something called a potato cleanse. A potato cleanse is meant to give your gut a rest, but keep your body from crashing. I did it from a Sunday until a Tuesday night AND I didn’t get mad at anyone. Boiled potatoes (without butter) and tea, without milk or sugar. I put my tea in my potatoes so they wouldn’t be so dry. Honestly, it wasn’t that bad. I did this for three days and I was still, by the Grace of God, able to be nice.
That Wednesday, the very next day, I didn’t eat after my dinner at 4:00 pm because I had to go for an ultrasound the next morning at 9:00. (I would like to suggest that they have appointments for these things starting at 5:00 am, but I’m sure that’s just me.) I had NOTHING to eat or drink Thursday morning. NOTHING. What made things even worse was that I had to go in the car. I was nauseous. I was a little testy. I was starving. BUT, I toughed it out. I knew it had to be done and I understood that I had to be empty. However, the only thing holding me together was the thought of breakfast when this was over and Cliff had promised me a good one!
My sweet, long-suffering, husband took the day off to bring me to my appointment. We arrived, I checked in, and received my paperwork to fill out. I got it all done and brought it to the desk. The following conversation has been modified, at no point do I disclose the extent of what my mind was contemplating. It is for your protection that I do this.
“Mrs. Chin, we don’t accept your insurance. The only way we can do your ultrasound today is if you pay cash.”
She told me it would be $150…not too bad…Cliff said that would be fine.
“Well, we have to reschedule your appointment.”
“WHAT?!”
“We cancelled your appointment because we don’t take your insurance. We called you last night and left a voice mail.”
“I didn’t get a voicemail or a call…”
At this point, I began to rapidly lose it. That last sentence might have reached a somewhat fevered pitch.
“I can send you to MetroWest today. They can take you at 10:30.”
MetroWest is at least half an hour away and there was no way I was getting back in the car for that long of a drive without food. I was nauseous. I was starving. I was angry. I saw red and it wasn’t my hair!

I walked out because to stay would have meant certain death for that receptionist and I’m pretty sure she had people expecting her home later that day.  I was that bad.
My always calm and cool husband stood at the desk and very nicely addressed the situation while I stood outside taking deep breaths. I returned to the desk…still a little fierce, but I kept quiet and let Cliff handle the situation. He’s good at these things and he’d had his breakfast. We left.
Cliff brought me to a very close-by KeKe’s and I ate. A lot. It was delicious…and I was soon human again. I love my husband. When we walked into KeKe’s he told the hostess, “We need to feed her and quickly.” He knows me well and he loves me anyway.

I am fairly certain  someone was praying for me that day. On behalf of the woman at the desk, I thank whoever it was for those prayers. I’m pretty sure they saved her life.

Lesson learned, I shall not fast; but, in the grand scheme of things, it really is not that big a deal!