As you probably already know, when I turned 55 my husband gave me an Ancestry DNA kit for my birthday. When I told him he should do one he refused saying, “I’m 100% Chinese. Why should I pay money for someone to tell me that?” As time passed and my spit was updated, consolidating all of the “less than 2%” parts of me because of  “thousands upon thousands of new samples” they’d received, I think he became intrigued by the whole process.

He has been told many times throughout his life, that he doesn’t really look that Asian. On our honeymoon, one older couple we met actually thought he was Italian.  And no, they did not have a seeing eye dog and, though they seemed it at the time, in retrospect, they were probably not that old. On more than one occasion, other Asians have guessed his ethnicity as something other than Chinese. Though I joke with him and tell him that all Asians look alike, Asians seem to take pride in knowing the differences among themselves.

Right around Thanksgiving, Ancestry had a $59 sale and we sent in my Mom’s spit.

Evidently, the intrigue and the further decrease in cost making it only $49, was too much for him. Right before Christmas he nonchalantly told me that he’d ordered a kit. We proudly displayed his picture on Facebook. Since then, we have had both family and friends alike wanting to know…Is he or isn’t he?

Cliff’s 65th birthday on January 15th, had been postponed to the following Saturday. He decided that he would reveal his DNA results to our family then. Our children were frantic…literally. The thought of being less than 100% Asian almost proved to be too much for them; both separately and collectively they had decided they didn’t want to know. Not only did they not want to know, they didn’t want anyone else to know either. I was told that I was not allowed to post anything on Facebook about it. I guess they really do believe the idea that if it’s not on Facebook, it’s just not true. It was, of course, too late. We’d already posted that we were sending in his spit. The results came just in time for his birthday.

We gathered all of our children, their spouses, our grandchildren, and Cliff’s Dad for a birthday brunch and together Cliff and I came up with a game.

Cliff took the DNA results for his first cousin as well as his own, threw in a few false percentages, just for good measure, and had everyone try to guess which ones were his. The only thing they had to remember was that the numbers had to add up to 100%. We did have our older daughter ask why. Since I’m the one who homeschooled her, I’d like to blame that ridiculous question on her nerves…Thank you.

Our 13 year old granddaughter, who is currently into all things Asian, was hoping for some Korean influence and more than a little perturbed that that particular part of Asia was not on the chart. In spite of her obvious dismay she was one of the winners. Our son’s wife, Kylene, and Cliff’s Dad, also won.

And now for the results…Drum roll, please…

As you can see, the man is still 100% Asian…

93% Chinese, 5% Vietnamese, and 2% Tai, which is Thailand.

The 7% non-Chinese was quickly attributed to my mother-in-law, who is probably laughing at us from heaven. Though I would have to agree, since she is the one with the beautiful almond-shaped eyes that I am blessed to look into everyday.

And there you have it, folks.

To our pastor, Aron Osborne, who jokingly proclaimed that all he wanted for Christmas was to find out that our son, Eric, was not 50% Asian…I’m sorry, but Santa did not come through for you. But then again, it’s really not that big a deal!