Since moving to Florida in 1998, and having quite a bit of family and friends in the North, we have often referred to our home as the “Chin Inn”. Much of our family has followed us down here, but the “Inn” is still open for the remnant still up in New Jersey and other places that are frozen at this time of year. We have always enjoyed sharing our home with dear friends and family.

Ben Franklin had a saying, “Guests are like fish, after three days they both stink.” Suffice to say that Dear Old Ben never met the Rices.

They were on a mission to visit the theme parks of Orlando. I told them there are currently 4 adults, 3 kids, 2 dogs and 1 cat, living in our home. They were unfazed. I told them that I wake up at 4:00 a.m. every morning and though I attempt to be quiet, I’m not. They didn’t care. I told them that one of them would have to sleep on a mattress on the floor. They were fine with that, too. I told them everything, I thought. And still they were happy to come. Good guests are like that.

We visited parks, shared meals, and just had an all around wonderful time! All was well until the night that it happened. It was the one thing I hadn’t told them. Their bathroom had a bidet. They didn’t pay much attention to it, initially, thinking it had something to do with saving water. Then, one night we told them what it was. I saw the intrigue in her face and I knew.  I knew something was going to happen because I know Grace.

Somewhat like me, Grace is one of those people that weird things happen to…and so, with permission granted, I share…

The Tale of Grace and the Bidet

Once upon a time, there was a bidet; not a nice, European stand-alone bidet, nor even a fancy hotel room bidet. No nothing like either of those, this bidet was simple; just a knob on the side of a house toilet that did its job with efficiency and grace…pun intended.

One day the home had guests whose room was attached to the bathroom where the bidet lived. Two of the guests, Craig and his daughter, Becca, had no interest in the bidet. But Grace, the third guest, was a somewhat curious sort. Initially, she thought it was something else and left it alone. But then, the family told her what it could do.

That night, after all was quiet and Craig and Becca were tucked away in their beds; Grace was in the bathroom all alone with the bidet. She  looked at the bidet, not sure how to approach it, not sure if she wanted to try it; but still intrigued by it. She stared at it in wonder. The bidet was willing, but Grace was still unsure.

The bidet knew that its family had explained to the Rices exactly how to use it and wondered why Grace still seemed like she wasn’t sure what to do. And then, the bidet saw Grace’s hand reaching out for the knob. The bidet was horrified! Instead of assuming the proper ‘position’, Grace was standing and peering! What was she thinking? Did she not know? The bidet tried to warn her, but to no avail. The knob was turned and Grace, still on her feet, was hunched over and peeking into the bowl. It was too late. The bidet had no choice, it shot her in the face. She screamed and the bidet knew that Grace would never want to try it now. The bidet was sad.

But then something happened. Grace began laughing! Not only that, but Craig and Becca, knowing full well what had happened to Grace, were laughing, too! Perhaps the bidet still had a chance! Perhaps, one day, Grace would want to try it! The world may never know…and it’s really not that big a deal.