When Recliners Attack…

My parents moved from New Jersey to Florida in October of 2001. Mom remembers because it was right after 9-11. Dad had been having some trouble with his back and we were ‘investigating’ exactly what was going on. Initially, they said it was his back but they soon discovered it was his hip. His right hip was replaced in 2007, followed by his left shoulder and then his right shoulder. Making my little old Italian Dad something akin to the “Bionic Man”.

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His ‘bionics’ have caused a few interesting scenarios through the years. My favorite was when he and I went into a federal building and had to walk through a metal detector. We both forgot about his ‘bionics’. I walked through first, I always think these things are kind of fun. Dad followed me, and then…lights, bells, whistles, and guards surrounded my almost 80 year old Dad. The guards were yelling, “DON’T MOVE! DON’T MOVE!” My Dad threw his hands up. It took me a minute to realize what was happening and then I couldn’t really think of what to say so I yelled, “Wait! He has replacement parts!”

It was the first thing that came to my mind. They scanned Dad with a wand, heard the buzzing in his right hip and shoulders, and let us continue on our way. But, that is not my blog story for today.

When Dad had his hip replacement surgery, it soon became clear that he would need a recliner. Trying to find a recliner that is stationary is pretty hard. They all swivel and rock. Dad, not real steady on his new found hip, wanted none of that. “A stationary recliner with a nice easy handle and slow leg extension” was my job. He trusted me to find the perfect chair. I was determined that I would not let him down. So, I took my nephew Kyle, in case we found something that would fit in my car, and we went recliner shopping. Our first stop, Ashley Furniture.

A very eager, highly caffeinated, young man greeted us at the door. I told him what we were looking for and he immediately took us over to the recliners, talking the whole way about the glory that is Ashley Furnitire. His spiel fell on deaf ears. I was a woman on a mission and my poor nephew just wanted to find something and go home.

We looked at a bunch, but all of them either swiveled, rocked, or both. Finally, we found one. I sat down. It was sturdy and still. I was thrilled! Kyle was elated! I reached for the handle and gave it a gentle tug. Nothing. I pulled a little harder. Nothing. The eager young man started to say something, but I wasn’t listening. I gave the handle a good yank. The foot extension thrust forward, and I was launched backward off the back the chair landing squarely on my own personal ‘cushion’. I was momentarily stunned by the momentum, quickly realized I was okay, and then started laughing. My nephew was hysterical and yet tried to be concerned asking me amid the gales if I was alright. The eager young man, was beside himself. The poor guy had no idea what to do. He just kept trying to help me up, but I was laughing too hard to move and I was perilously close to tinkling.

Once we all calmed down, I visited the ladies room, and decided that that was NOT the chair for Dad. We left Ashley Furniture and went on to Lazy Boy. The chair was located, purchased, and in my car within 15 minutes. Dad loved it! My job was done and my backside wasn’t even that sore.

Just another day, another laugh, and a job well done…but really, it was not that big a deal.

About Not That Big a Deal

Roxanne has a gift for writing and making people laugh. She enjoys sharing both with as many as she can.
This entry was posted in Family, Getting Old, Humor, Italian Roots, Recliners, The Human Spirit. Bookmark the permalink.

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