So, I think it is safe to say that I am weird. I say this mostly because I’ve been told this…repeatedly…for a good portion of my life.
And, I have indisputable proof aside from this picture.
I can’t whistle. That’s kind of weird. However, I am very proficient at an unusual humming sound encased in spit.
I love history. I don’t think this is weird, but I’ve been told it is. My favorite books are books about history. I am particularly fond of military history, the Civil War, and World War II. Obviously, Winston Churchill is a favorite.
I also love grammar. Now, I do think this is weird. I hated it in school and have no idea when the transformation took place, but it did.
Now, being weird lends itself to having weird things happen to you. Case in point, I was once attacked by a lime.
This was no ordinary lime. This was a lime that had been hiding behind the vegetable drawer in the back of my refrigerator for quite some time. It had probably been in there for months before I found it old, shriveled, hard, and brown; which gives you some indication of how infrequently I clean out my fridge.
It took me a few seconds to realize what it was, but even in its altered state the smell was unmistakable. When I found it, I realized it needed to be put to rest and so I threw it down the disposal because Cliff always tells me that, “anything ‘organic’ should not go in the garbage”. Our disposal is “turbo-powered”. Cliff is very proud of this, this and the fact that the thing can eat chicken bones…but I’m getting off track.
I was home alone, a rare and somewhat dangerous setting for me.
As I mentioned before, I threw the lime down the turbo-powered disposal. Thus, obeying my husband and going against my own lazy inclination to throw it away. I did everything right. I threw the lime in, turned the water on, and then turned on the disposal. I wanted to make sure the lime was being properly eliminated so I peeked. I peeked forgetting that the disposal guard had wasted away to almost nothing.
As you may have guessed, the once dead lime was suddenly infused with new life. It popped out of the disposal and hit me in the face. I staggered backwards and was, fortunately, held up by our kitchen island. I leaned there, momentarily stunned and extremely grateful that I could still see, had both eyes, and all of my teeth. When I completed my facial inventory and realized I was still completely intact, I laughed all by myself in my kitchen. Standing a safe distance away, I chucked the lime back into the disposal, and listened as it was ground to death. Even in death, its sweet smell emanated from those turbo-powered blades. I would have felt a little sad had it not been for the pain in my right cheek. But then, it really was not that big a deal.
Thank you for reading my blog! I hope it made you smile. As you probably can tell, my brother did not take this picture. However, he does have a new website! You can see it at nuhorizondesign.com.
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