It was a normal day at our house, if there is such a thing. The grandkids were visiting and having a fun time while Bubba watched them. Bubba is our daughter, Autumn. In my mind Bubba is a fat man in overalls with no teeth, this does not at all describe our daughter. But, somehow to our grandkids, she is lovingly referred to as Bubba.

Caleb was four at the time and called Bubba with a sense of urgency. He was running to the bathroom with his two hands clasped together as if in prayer.

“Bubba, I need you to lift the toilet seat for me!”

Bubba ran. She lifted the seat as Caleb announced with pride, “Bubba, I killed a crotch-roach”!  He was beaming. She was not.

He deposited his kill in its rightful place and they sent it to its watery grave. His job was done. A wonderful feeling for a four-year-old boy. Bubba made sure he washed his hands and then he was back on the hunt.

In case you hadn’t guessed, the picture above was not taken by my brother. It is a picture of plastic bugs that I find strategically placed by my grandsons. They are placed where I will be sure to find them.  The spider is the most life-like and was found under my desk. I stepped on it…repeatedly. I realized it was plastic after the first stomp, but better to be safe than sorry.

I don’t mind bugs when they’re outside and living in their own environment.

Some of them are interesting and some of them are beautiful, but none of them are any of those things in my house.

As I’ve said, living in Florida is unique in many ways. Insects thrive down here and are supersized, much bigger than anything I ever saw in New Jersey. Case in point, the above mentioned, “crotch-roach”.

In New Jersey having roaches in your home meant your house was dirty. Down here, having roaches in your home means you live in Florida. In New Jersey we call them cockroaches. They are fairly small, brown critters that can run fast, but that is  the extent of their athletic ability. Of course, I had never seen a roach in New Jersey, but this is what I’ve been told.

In Florida, people are much more genteel. They refer to their cockroaches as “Palmetto bugs”. It sounds better. Regardless of the name they are as big as the state of Montana and I’m sure, when saddled, they can be used as a means of transportation.

They also come in different nationalities, German, Asian, and American. Almost sounds like World War II of the insect world, but I digress. Of these three nationalities, I’m told the German ones are the worst. They are small and scurry around your house in the dark. By the time you realize they’re there, you’re infested. The Asian ones are bigger, are not afraid of the light, and, like their fellow kamikazes, these bugs fly! American cockroaches are what Floridians refer to as “Palmetto bugs”. They also come out when it’s dark, and unlike their German counterparts they, too, can fly!

We’ve never had the Asian ones in our house. I find this interesting considering our last name is “Chin”. Maybe there’s an unspoken rule. Maybe the Asian ones don’t attack their own. I am part German and we are American. Obviously, the German and American ones have no code of honor. I would investigate this further but, I guess it’s really not that big a deal.