A Budding Blog…

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Well, it is with a fair amount of fear and trepidation that I’d like to make an announcement.
Before your mind starts to wander too far, I am not pregnant. That would cause mind-boggling fear and trepidation, and would, in fact, be a miracle.
This is “Not That Big a Deal” which is also the name of my new blog. Yes, friends I have “bitten the bullet, jumped in with both feet, leaped into the breach” and it scares the crumbs out of me. But, I enjoy making people smile and laugh and forget, even if just for a little while, their troubles. I think it’s something we all need now and then. I really do believe that “a good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything.” So, here I go…
My blog link will be posted on facebook and twitter tomorrow and, hopefully, every Friday after that. I hope it does its job. I hope it makes you smile. 

 

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You Don’t Know Jack

So let me introduce you…

Jack is our oldest grandson and today he turns eleven. In honor of his birthday, I give you…Jack Daniel, yes, that is his name. He was born in 2006, could speak at a fairly young age, and he has always thought just a little bit outside the box. When Jack-isms first began, they came from a little boy that looked like this…This is Jack with his beautiful Mom, our daughter.

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As he’s gotten older and Jackisms have been somewhat replaced with drawings and books he looks like this…This is last year’s school Art Show. Jack was very excited!

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Either way, this is Jack and here are just a few of his ‘isms’…

2010 ~ Jack is 3

  • Jack is sitting on the couch with his cousin, Caleb. They want to see “Ice Age,” but Jack decides he wants to see it alone so he says, “No, Caleb, you don’t want to see Ice Age. You don’t need the calories.”
  • Jack is running in circles and slips. I pick him up and tell him, “Buddy, you can’t run around in circles.” He’s looking at the tile and says, “Nana, I was running in squares.”

2011 ~

  • Jack is bowling in the kitchen with teeny tiny little pins. He comes over to me with his hand on his head…”Tough break for me, Nana. I missed my spare.”
  • Cliff and I are teaching for Children’s Ministry at church. I tell Jack, “Hey, buddy, Poppy and I are in your Sunday School class today.” After a thoughtful silence he responds, “Umm…How old are you two?”
  • Immediately after dinner, “Nana, what color am I?” You’re white, Jack. “You’re white too, Nana.” Yes, Jack, I’m white too. A moment later, “Nana, what happened to Poppy?”

2012 ~

  • In an effort to make Jack interested in some tadpoles I found I thought we could name them after the Mario Brothers characters. Our conversation went like this, Jack, would you like to name the tadpoles?  “Nah.” What if we name them Mario and Luigi, like your Mario Brothers game? He thinks a moment and responds, “Are they Italian?”
  • Jack is helping me paint a wall in the playroom. He’s working with a little brush when I hear “Oops, sorry Nana, I got paint on your butt. I thought it was the wall.” I felt it necessary to defend myself. Jack, Nana’s butt is not as big as the wall. Beware the thoughtful silence…he came back with, “Almost, Nana.”
  • I was talking about our friends the “Hawkes”. I said that they would be “flying in on Wednesday.” I later heard Jack  saying to his Mom, “The Hawkes are flying in, but it’s okay, I don’t think they’re birds.”

2013 ~

  • In my sewing room, Jack interrupts his game of zombie marbles to sit next to Stella, our chihuahua. He informs me in all seriousness, “Oh no, Nana, Stella is getting facial hair.”
  • Jack is watching Peter Pan with Colby, two years younger. I hear, “Tinkerbell should be the Mom, right, Colby? You can say, yes.”

2014 ~

  • Jack is going for his Year End Evaluation for home schooling when he informs me, “So, Nana, today is the second day of the sixth month of the second decade of the 21st century.” I had to think about that one for awhile before I realized he was right.

2016 ~

  • Jack loves to draw and make books. He has a bunch he’s written that I think should be published, but that’s just me. On this night, we’re spending time with Jack and I asked him if he’s used up his sketch books. “Yup, I used them a long time ago. You know what they say, Nana. A sketch book a day keeps the madness away.”
  • He follows the above with, “Nana, I’m gonna write a book called “Coffee for Grandma”. It’ll have a coffee cup and I’ll draw little army men in it. You know why, Nana?” No, why, Jack. “Because, the best part of waking up is ‘soldiers’ in your cup.”

Oh, how I love this boy! As you can see, he really is a very big deal.

Happy Birthday, Jack!

 

 

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Never Say Never Again…

Once upon a time, when my world revolved around babies, burps, and various other  bodily functions of little people, the world thought it was a good idea to make harnesses and leashes for children.

We would see parents walking in the park, the mall, and the airport with their child tethered to them…wearing a harness…on a leash…like a dog. I was appalled. I determined then and there that I would NEVER do that to my child. I had taught Eric to sit and not stand in his highchair, to stay by my side when we were out, to lay down when he was in his crib. I was 22. I knew how to raise a child.

What was wrong with these people? Harnesses and leashes on a child? It was barbaric. Continue reading

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An Interesting Observation By Diana Gabaldon

Remember the funny-post-not-by-me called The Stance? In that post I shared about every woman’s graduation into that wonderful world of  “The Stance.” The act of avoiding, to the point of self-inflicted bodily harm, any and all public toilet seats. It was a hysterical piece, not-by-me, and I enjoyed reading it as much as you did. And, look, I still have the picture!

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Since then, I’ve come across some very freeing information that I would like to share with all of woman-kind. Men, I would ask you to ‘kindly avert your eyes,’ but I think that will only make you more inclined to read on.

Diana Gabaldon, is the author of the Outlander series and a myriad of other stories. She is an amazing author and one of my favorites. A bit of Gabaldon trivia, before she was a writer, Ms. Gabaldon was…are you ready for this…a scientist. Who knew? Having traveled the world and frequented innumerable public restrooms, Diana has something to say.

Continue reading

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But First, Thanksgiving…

Over the years I have noticed more and more that Christmas comes earlier and earlier and for some strange reason Halloween has become a major holiday.

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Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas as much as anyone. I love what it stands for and, more importantly, Who it stands for. I admit, there are no cheery Thanksgiving songs and it may not have cute reindeer decorations, but still, Thanksgiving deserves its day. Without Thanksgiving think of all we’d be missing, the food, family Christmas pictures, food, Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, food, Football, and what would be do with Black Friday?

Continue reading

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“But, Mommy I’m Not Allowed…”

By August of 1986, we had three children, Eric, our very obedient boy, Rachel, and Autumn, our quiet one. You’ve already heard about Rachel, she’s the one with the Cotton Socks that brought down the Great Wall. Autumn’s little girl exploits will come; but, this story isn’t about either of our girls. This story is about our firstborn, our calm, obedient one; our son.

And so it begins…

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Once upon a time in a faraway land in the North, otherwise known as New Jersey, there lived a little dark-haired boy named Eric. Now, Eric was not your typical little boy. Eric was a very obedient little boy. In fact, Eric was obedient to a fault, which is what this story is about. If I told Eric to ‘stand in the kitchen and wait’, I was convinced that I could have cleaned the entire house, taken out the garbage, done five loads of laundry and he would still be standing there…in the kitchen…waiting. Little did I know that on this particular day, one command I’d given him would come back to bite me. Hard.

There were once dark days in the world. Days when not everyone had a cellphone in their back pocket and the word text was a noun and not a verb. You may not remember those days, but there are certain ones that are hard to forget. I remember clearly a day in September of 1984 when Eric was almost three, Rachel was seven months old,  and Autumn was still just a wish in my heart. It would be one of “those” days.

It was a blustery,  windy,  cool, and rainy day. I packed Eric and Rachel up in their car seats to go to a wellness appointment at our pediatrician’s office. Once both children were contained, we began our journey to Morristown.

A little history, because I love history. Morristown, is a  very old town in New Jersey. In fact, it played a pivotal role in the Revolutionary War. It was here that George Washington established two winter encampments. And, it is also in Morristown that, seemingly, every old house has a plaque stating ‘George Washington Slept Here‘. So many plaques, in fact, that they had convinced my Grandma Moon that George  Washington must have been a ‘dirty old man.’

By 1984, many of these old houses had been transformed into offices. Since homes don’t usually come with parking lots, parking for offices was on the street. These stately old houses were set back far from the road and though the walk to the door sometimes felt like a small marathon, I liked the pediatrician and didn’t mind.

I’d found a parking spot right in front of the doctor’s office, no small feat on a rainy day! I was so excited, I jumped out of my car, pushed the lock button, and slammed the door. That’s when I realized that my keys and my children, were still inside. I knew I couldn’t panic because that would scare my babies. So, I calmly looked at my boy through the window, smiled, and said, “Eric, I need you to be a big boy and help Mommy.”

Okay, Mommy.”

“Eric, I need you to get out of your car seat and unlock the door for Mommy.”

These words were met with silence and as much a look of consternation as an almost four year old can muster.

His voice said, “Mommy, I’m not allowed to get out of my car seat.” The look on his face said, “You must be crazy!

“Yes, Eric, Mommy knows that; but this time it’s okay because Mommy needs your help. So, please get out of your car seat and unlock the door.”

Silence.

Mommy, I’m not allowed to get out of my car seat.” He was almost angry.

It was then that I realized Eric thought this was some kind of a ‘sick’ test, I was putting him through. What kind of a Mommy was I?

I tried again.

“Eric, honey, you won’t get in trouble if you get out of your car seat this one time and help Mommy.”

At this point, Eric’s little chin was quivering. My poor little boy was upset and to top it all off, Rachel started crying.

Mommy, Rachel is crying.”

“I know, Eric. If you open the door for Mommy, I’ll make her stop, but I need you to climb out of your car seat and unlock the door.”

I’d love to say that Eric obeyed at that point, but it took about five more minutes, that seemed like an eternity; and Rachel’s crying jumping into high gear before he finally, with tear-filled eyes, complied. It took a new superhero figurine to convince Eric that he wasn’t in trouble and that he’d done a good thing. It took me a long time to contemplate what we’d done to make our son so afraid of disobeying. I finally decided that this was our boy…an obedient, little perfectionist, who told on his sisters for the smallest infraction, and was appalled when they disobeyed.

My boy is a 36 year old man today. He’s still obedient, but now to the Cross. He’s less of a perfectionist, because he knows only Jesus is perfect; and he loves his sisters with all of his heart. He is a devoted husband to our sweet, Kylene; and a  wonderful Daddy to two beautiful little boys, Colby and Sawyer. He is all of those things and more, but, overall, he will always be my little boy…and he really is a very big deal.

Happy Birthday, Eric! You are so very loved!

 

 

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“The Stance”…A Funny Story Not By Me

I did not write this story, but I could have. In fact, if you’re a woman or even a girl, you probably could have, too. It’s a story that is an integral part of our gender. One that is instilled in us at an early age.

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No man will understand, no woman can deny…”The Stance.” Enjoy!

“My mother was a fanatic about public bathrooms. When I was a little girl, she’d take me into the stall, teach me to wad up toilet paper and wipe the seat. Then, she’d carefully lay strips of toilet paper to cover the seat. Finally, she’d instruct, “Never, NEVER sit on a public toilet seat!” Then she’d demonstrate “The Stance,” which consisted of balancing over the toilet in a sitting position without actually letting any of your flesh make contact with the toilet seat. By this time, I’d have wet down my leg and we’d have to go home to change my clothes.  Continue reading

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‘Grandkids’ Say the Darndest Things…

Currently, there are seven of them. They come in all colors, shapes, and sizes. Some of them are tall, or at least “tall” from our perspective which is somewhat skewed. Some of them are very small and one of them is still ‘cooking’ but, all of them are ours and we love each and every one.

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I am, of course, talking about our grandchildren. One girl, five boys and one, at the moment, to be determined. They are all unique and each has had their own special way of communicating. One ate ‘buzzert’ after dinner. Another did not like ‘waspspsps’, while his brother still eats, ‘gleen glapes’ and wears ‘glubs’ when he gets cold. One of the most creative ate ‘peetspa’ and ‘skrimps’, thought some people needed to go to the ‘psychopeetreeish,’  and considered himself to be an ‘Asiant’. He also coined the phrase, “crotch roach”, but that’s another post.

Of the six that are walking among us, there are two that are in a category all their own, the oldest and next-to-youngest boys. This post is about the next-to-youngest. His name is Gavin. He’s the one making the “Popeye” face in the picture, front and slightly off center, which suits him perfectly.

As fate, if you believe in that, or God, which is much more likely, would have it, Gavin is Rachel’s youngest child. You remember Rachel. If you don’t remember her, you can read about her ‘Rachel Story’ adventures here and here. Now, before you start thinking that I bestowed every mother’s ‘blessing’ on Rachel and told her, “I hope you get a kid just like you,” I didn’t. She and Thomas, her husband, came up with this guy all on their own.

Gavin just turned 7, looks like he’s 5 and is not afraid to say anything to anyone. Like most little kids, he has no filter. He also likes to talk. Incessantly. He talks from the time he opens his eyes in the morning, until he passes out at night. He talks to his toys if nobody else will listen and makes up dialogue – legos, stuffed animals, blocks, trains – he’s not particular. He talks while movies are on and while you’re driving in the car. He talks while he’s watching things on his mother’s phone and while he’s playing video games with his brother. He talks.

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During a recent family walk he told his mother that a bush he saw looked like it had ‘diabetes’. He is completely serious about his observations.

On his first day of school, the teacher gave the kids a bunch of different household items that they could put together to make anything they wanted. Most made little houses, sleds, bunnies, kittens, and puppies. But, not Gavin. Gavin brought a playing card, the Joker, up to his teacher and a styrofoam cup with a million toothpicks jammed into it.

“This is my death dungeon. I need you to cut this guy out so I can put him in the dungeon.” His teacher, startled but immensely entertained, obliged.

His most recent declaration is one of my favorites. While enjoying early morning cuddles with his Mom and older sister, Madyson, he started to tickle his sister.

Madyson asked, “Gavin, why are you tickling me?”

The response, “I’m tickling you because I’m constipated.”

“Gavin, do you know what constipated means?”

“No.”

“Gavin, constipated means you can’t poop!”

“Oh. I thought it meant you were scared.”

We have no idea what he was scared of, why tickling would be his response to fear, nor how he would remember a word like ‘constipated’ but, if it made you smile or brightens your day, the rest is really not that big a deal!

 

 

 

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